WARNING: The following contains spoilers for X-Men #3, by Jonathan Hickman, Leinil Francis Yu, Gerry Alanguilan, Sunny Gho, Rain Bereo, VC’s Clayton Cowles and Tom Muller, on sale now.
When Jonathan Hickman was given the keys to Marvel Comics' X-Men franchise, one of the many sweeping changes he implemented was uniting heroic and villainous mutants together on the sovereign island of Krakoa. Villains like Magneto, Apocalypse, Mister Sinister and Mystique now sit at the same leadership table as Charles Xavier, Jean Grey, Storm and Nightcrawler, with even more enemies given access and freedom on the mutant island.
The House of X and Powers of X dual miniseries set up this new status quo, but it also introduced new threats to the X-Men in the form of the Orchis organization. The collection of former Hydra, S.H.I.E.L.D., H.A.M.M.E.R., A.I.M. and other secret organizations are trying to stop the rapid rise of the mutant population, with their theory that humans only have a limited number of years left before they become an endangered species. Orchis appears to be set up as the primary antagonist for the X-Men going forward, but X-Men #3 introduces another new threat in the form of four elderly women.
Indeed, the X-Men are being pitted against Hordeculture, Marvel's evil version of the Golden Girls, and all of its members happen to have potty-mouths, even if they do try and censor themselves.
Hordeculture is made up of Augusta Bromes, Opal Vetiver, Lily Leymus and Edith Scutch. These four senior citizens are a group of agrochemists, biotechnologists and bioengineers that specialize in genetically manipulating and propagating all things botanical. After working for corrupt biotech companies that were only concerned with their pockets instead of the welfare of the world's plantlife, Hordeculture decided to strike back. Their stealth attack includes planting their Hordeculture seeds into ones created by these businesses over the last two years, with their seeds eventually becoming dominant in ten years.
If their plan works, Hordeculture would then control what does and does not grow, along with who gets to eat and who starves, greatly reducing the world's population. However, when the X-Men created the Krakoan plants that can bloom teleportation gateways and pharmaceutical drugs for humans, the four women decided this new expansive biome could trample on their plans.
The first strike of Hordeculture's attack against the X-Men occurs when they walk through a Krakoa gateway in the Savage Land. According to Augusta Bromes, they have discovered a way to hack the Krakoa gateways that allows them to pass through and steal more samples to study. Of course, the X-Men send a team to investigate the Savage Land anomaly, but Cyclops, Emma Frost and Sebastian Shaw are surprised to find four elderly women who are more than capable of making fools of the X-Men's mutant leaders, even as they bicker amongst themselves.
Our heroes make the mistake of underestimating the four members of Hordeculture, with Sebastian Shaw first attempting to make a deal with the women. When his flirtatious negotiations result in a sneak attack, Cyclops intervenes to end the beatdown. Unfortunately, Cyclops falls for the oldest trick in the book when Augusta fakes a broken hip. And while Hordeculture stops short of actually verbalizing many of their dirty words, they do put an emphasis on abbreviating them for PG-13 audiences.
Hordeculture's primary weapon against the X-Men is a gun that shoots a green sticky substance that neutralizes their mutant powers. Sebastian Shaw and Cyclops experience the weapon firsthand, with Emma Frost only receiving their origin story as her telepathic powers are rendered useless.
It appears the X-Men's new status quo does not align with Hordeculture's own vision of a drastically different Earth that favors botanical life. The last warning from Hordeculture before they escape through a gateway is they plant to either convince Krakoa switch sides or "pluck it like the weed it is. You can bet your a-word on that."